4:30 am Philippine time.
Nervous is the word. Whoa 500 item exam, where’s the mercy in there?
Sagging eye-bags will become the trend in somewhat way and I think I have to change a little bit of my school morning routine. During vacation, I wake up as late as 8 am and continue to wallow like a pig till 9, however, during school days, I notice my body clock starts to roll as early as 3 am and from then all I do is to think. I also noticed I am most emotional during the early mornings. It’s kinda weird though, I found myself in regrets, sometimes in utmost happiness, and sometimes in extreme loneliness. What’s with the early morning giving you all this type of feeling?
Smiles tell tales
Agony sank in a wink
and the world applauds
The moon has witnessed
Tomorrow I’ll race
With rats and hogs
In the cage I’ll be fed
With letters and thorns.
I am house-bound today and it’s not the good thing either.My classmates are currently taking up a 500 item exam on medical-surgical and community nursing. So I’m kinda threatened now, when will I take that penitence? I haven’t recovered yet from this UTI… I want to go to class now.
My theology II subject is hopeless unless my parents are willing to pay 36k for that missed subject alone.I will not graduate without finishing Theology II. Life is hard. Even so, I will just hang on. It’s okay with me If I won’t graduate in time.
I’m on my last semester and thinking somehow it will be over, I wish I had more time to make things better. I missed to be the best student I can tag on my own. I want to beat myself more. I wish I could have done better in school.
Truly I have regrets, because along the way I have inserted moments that paved me to a different track. The track of writing is truly a different one from the nursing course. What will happen if my focus is only to nursing, will it make a big difference? What if I set aside my heart, and let theories and practice fills it…
I’m wallowing in seasons, that doesn’t speak of the present. Is it my pleasure that is taking over me? Writing is pleasure. My pleasure is writing. But what’s the purpose? I write to please my self? that’s so a shallow deed, no purpose..Hence, it’s better to cling to nursing.
But no, I won’t stop writing. I love exploring my world. If I lose track I’ll get back to it. There’s more reason to write, there’s more reason than writing alone.
and I’m absent.
I have suffered enough from my Urinary Tract Infection that I had almost a week ago. I never took any medication for the reason that I have never undergone urinalysis to detect the UTI-causing-bacteria due to menstruation. During my initial check up, the physician suggested that a straight catheter to be inserted inside my urethral meatus. The orange straight catheter was way too big for me I guess, so I was shocked and hesitant. At the back of my mind, why would you want to insert that inside me, it’s too painful Doc, don’t you know? Yes, I knew it’s collecting urine directly from my urethra because urinalysis will mess the result, yielding high RBC.
So in short, I wasn’t medically cured. What I did was to manage it at home.
Unfortunately, my dad required me to drink gallons of water each day.”Drink until you throw up! Persevere to be cured! That water is so minimal, drink more!” He was strict and persistent you know, I was so bloated but to be honest I get to be better somehow. Painful urination subsides in a matter of days,however, here comes the flank pain which caused me to stoop forward like a granny with osteoporosis.
I was supposed to be assigned on the program for the inauguration of the second semester, but I am so severely ill . Imagine, me doing Panatang Makabayan while on that freakin posture in front of crowd.
It was very frustrating though. I hope I could compensate for the day that I missed and will be missing.